


I'm So Free, Even With My Burning Wings

by burgundymoons



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Background Kim Lip/Jinsoul, Coffee date, Dorms, F/F, Fluff, Short Hair Chuu, dancer/singer yves, ongoing fic, singer/songwriter chuu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25988428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burgundymoons/pseuds/burgundymoons
Summary: Jiwoo was finally at college, finally away from the pressure of her parents, sharing a dorm room with her best friend Jungeun, but something is off. She doesn't quite feel free yet, despite coming to college to finally chase her dreams of becoming a singer and songwriter.Kim Jiwoo expected a lot of things out of college, but she didn't expect to have a pretty girl walk into the dorm bathrooms at 4 a.m. while she's cutting her own hair.And she didn't expect Ha Sooyoung to be the key to everything she was trying to accomplish.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu
Comments: 25
Kudos: 92





	1. In Which Jiwoo Makes a Good Decision and Meets Someone New

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! this is my first loona fanfic, and i'm excited to be writing it! there's not much going on, since i'm just figuring it out as i go, so i'm sorry if the tags and summary are a bit vauge. 
> 
> this wasn't beta'd and was only proofread by grammarly.

Kim Jiwoo just needed to feel control over one thing in her life. She went to college to get away from her family and to finally pursue music, only for them to try and dictate her life. And now, she’s being told that they didn’t let her into the music department because of what her parents had said back at the interview with the counselor. Jiwoo could fucking scream. Her parents were scared of her wanting to be a singer and songwriter, scared that she couldn’t make enough money, but Jiwoo didn’t care. She’s working at the library for money, she’s got enough to get by, she doesn’t need them to be in control of her life anymore. She’s finally in college at 20 years old, living in a dorm with her best friend from high school who ended up enrolling with her, and she’s not going to let her parents or anyone ruin this for her.

And right now, the only thing Jiwoo can think of is how heavy her hair is. She’s always loved her bangs and her hair, loves putting them in ponytails and braids and half-up hairstyles. She’s loved her hair wavy and soft, loved her hair when Jungeun bleached and dyed it red in the middle of the night at a sleepover in her house in high school, loved it when it was straight (unlike her). But, right now, it feels like it’s weighing her down, like it’s the last part of her she needs to get rid of before she lets go.

Which is how she ended up in the dorm bathrooms at 4 a.m., trying to cut her hair to shoulder length by herself. It’s not like it was an entirely spontaneous decision, although it was spontaneous. But it was planned at least a little. She had waited until Jungeun fell asleep, when there was no way she would wake up and see Jiwoo gone, and had grabbed scissors and a plastic bag to cut her hair into.

So, maybe it wasn’t the most thought out plan, but Jiwoo doesn’t need thought, she needs action. And, with it being 4. a.m. and all, it’s highly unlikely anyone would walk in and see her and try to call the Resident Advisor or anything. Or so she hopes. There probably weren't any parties tonight, otherwise Jungeun would've known about it, because she would either be at the party or be picking people up from the party.

But Jiwoo dismisses the thought of anyone walking in on her, swallows her fears, and starts cutting. She starts in small sections, cuts longer than she wants because she can always go shorter, but she can’t make it longer. It’s a big chop, and the first second feels freeing. So she keeps chopping, and chopping and finally at the very least, all of the big chops are done, and she’s looking at herself in the mirror with hair that reaches her shoulder — choppy, uneven hair, but light brown short wavy hair nonetheless.

Her heart feels like a balloon, and even though she knows the back is probably uneven, too, she can’t quite bring herself to care yet. She might freak out about it later, in a few hours when she has to go to her classes, but for right now, she’s content. She needs to try and even it out, so she pulls out her scissors and is about to cut—

And then a girl in a leather jacket walks into the bathroom, and she meets Jiwoo’s eyes. Jiwoo freezes, a chunk of hair resting between her scissors.

“Uh… hello,” Jiwoo says. Her voice is uneasy, she can feel it shaking, but it comes out like she isn’t phased at all.

“Hello,” says the girl, the pretty girl with the cute short hair because holy shit, Jiwoo really can’t help but note how beautiful she is. The pretty girl with the cute short hair looks around the bathroom, then back at Jiwoo. “Am I interrupting something? I can use another bathroom or something—“

“No no no!" Jiwoo says, her voice coming out louder than intended. She clears her throat before trying again. "No, It’s okay, you can go ahead and use the bathroom! I’m just trying to cut my hair.”

“…At 4 a.m?” The girl looks at her with a blank expression.

“Yes?”

“In the public dorm bathroom?”

“..Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to?”

“That’s… entirely fair.”

“Cool.”

"Cool."

They both stand there in silence for a bit, looking at each other but not moving. Jiwoo’s hair is still between those scissors, the hair she's trying to trim still uncut.

“So, I’m just going to use the bathroom now,” the girl says, gesturing towards the stalls.

“Okay, cool,” Jiwoo responds, and the girl walks past her and disappears into a stall.

It feels like the moment was broken, like the instant gratification of cutting her hair and staring at herself is gone, but Jiwoo? She honestly doesn’t care. She’s still happy, and she’s still ready to trim. So she finally cuts the hair that’s between her scissors, and tries to even it all out as best as she can.

She hears the toilet flush in the background, and sees the girl in the mirror walking out of the stall, adjusting the zipper on her green ribbed cropped top. She hears the sound of running water, of the girl washing her hands. Jiwoo trims her hair to get it even, not letting herself be distracted.

But then she sees the girl standing behind her, looking down at the back of her neck, then looking back at her face in the mirror, and she hesitates to trim any more. She doesn’t know why the girl is looking at her, but she can feel her stomach getting rumbly, and not because she was hungry. Jiwoo hasn’t felt penguins walking in her stomach for a long time.

“Do you need help getting the back?”

Jiwoo whips around to look at her. “What?”

“Well, I know it’s hard to cut your own hair,” she says, gesturing to her short hair cut, “and I was wondering if you needed a hand? It’s hard to get the back and get it even, but I have a lot of experience cutting hair from cutting my own hair and—“

“I would love the help!” Jiwoo says, a wide smile coming onto her face. She hands the girl her scissors and the plastic bag she was putting her hair in, and she lets her get to work. She watches her in the mirror as the girl puts the hair between two fingers in small sections, slowly trying to trim each section to be the same length. Jiwoo can’t help but stay quiet, just observing the girl’s motions. The moment feels intimate, like it shouldn’t be shared between two strangers at 4 a.m. in the dorm’s bathrooms. It feels like she’s holding her breath, penguins walking in her stomach, and she’s stepped into something she doesn’t understand. But truly, has she ever really understood anything?

“Done! What do you think?”

Jiwoo snaps out of whatever that was at the sound of the girl’s voice, and her eyes finally focus on the mirror to a perfect haircut. It’s right to her shoulders, exactly where she wanted it. It’s like she knew what length Jiwoo wanted without even. It’s… perfect. She turns around to look at the girl.

“Thank you so so so much! It looks perfect, exactly how I wanted it! Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, but it was no problem, really,” the girl says, smiling down at her.

Jiwoo can’t just let the cute girl leave after this; she’s got to do something to repay her help. She’s got to take a chance. College was about chasing what she wanted, and Jiwoo wants to take this girl out for coffee or something to repay her.

“Um! Can I take you out for coffee sometime?” The girl’s eyes widen at Jiwoo’s request. She probably thinks she’s asking her out on a date or something, and while Jiwoo does think the girl is cute, she really just wants to repay her. Besides, she doesn’t jump into these sorts of things without seriously making sure she likes the person, and she’s gonna have to explain this before the girl takes it the wrong way because Jiwoo didn’t even check if she’s okay with that sort of thing.

“I mean,” Jiwoo clarifies, “I want to repay you for your help tonight. Or this morning. It’s late and you stopped to help me, so let’s get coffee sometime, my treat?”

The girl breaks into a smile, and Jiwoo feels her heart swell at the sight. “That would be great! Here, gimme your phone!”

The two swap phones, and exchange numbers, making their contacts. Jiwoo thinks it would be funny to make her contact name “haircut girl,” but she thinks that it’s best just to put her name. She does, however, take a selfie for a contact photo so that the girl can at least realize who she is.

“There we go!” They return each other’s phones, and Jiwoo looks at the screen.

_ Ha Sooyoung. _

Her name is Ha Sooyoung.

“I’ll text you when I’m free to go out for coffee,” Sooyoung says, pocketing her phone.

She opens the door to leave the bathroom, and just as she’s closing it behind her, she turns around.

“Bye, Kim Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says, closing the door behind her.

Jiwoo is left staring at the door, holding a plastic bag of her cut hair, wondering what the hell just happened, why her face is so red, and how she’s going to explain any of this to Jungeun.

Yeah, Jiwoo’s hair may be straight and short, but she was only one of those things, and it wasn’t straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed it! this is just the first chapter and i'm excited to see where this story takes me. and yes, yves has her "so what" haircut but she's wearing her outfit from "new." i was going to write her in the leather jacket from "so what" but i kept imagining the other outfit when i was writing the scene. the title of the fic is a reference to both songs as well.
> 
> since i don't really have a full idea where this is going, i would love comments with ideas!


	2. Where Jiwoo Deals With the Consequences (Lightly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! this chapter was also proofread by grammarly only, and i hope you like it <3  
> i revised the first chapter a bit as well, but there's no big changes if you just want to start from this one, so you're free to keep reading!  
> also! i got a profile picture! it's a cropped photo of a selca chuu posted so it looks like she has short hair! if you want to see it, feel free to see my inspiration for having chuu cut her hair in this fic.

Jiwoo wakes up to a familiar loud voice booming throughout the room. She tries to grab her phone and check the time because it’s probably too early for this, but she only gets a glance before Jungeun is back in her face. It’s only 8 a.m., and she got back to her dorm at 5, so she’s only been asleep for 3 hours — no wonder she’s tired.

“Ugh, can we talk about this later, please?” Jiwoo says, turning her face away from her roommate’s and towards her wall.

“No? I wake up to you with short hair and your hoodie with hair on it, along with a bag of your hair on your desk and scissors, and you expect me to wait until later to talk about this? There’s no way.”

Jiwoo forgot to throw away that hair, whoops. She thought she did, but last night after meeting Sooyoung was kind of a blur, and she’s not awake enough to really think about it. 

“I’m sorry for leaving stuff out, but you have morning classes, and you need to get going if you don't want to be late,” Jiwoo grumbles into her pillow.

“Nope, I don’t care if I’m late to my 9 a.m. class and I don’t care if I have to miss it, we’re talking.”

“Okay, just gimme a moment,” Jiwoo groans. “I have to wake up, I’m tired.”

Twenty minutes later, Jiwoo has scrolled through her phone enough to actually wake up, and gets up from her bed, stretching. She’s still tired, but at the very least, she can function enough to have a conversation. She looks over at Jungeun, who is sitting at her desk looking at her computer, smiling. Jiwoo climbs out of bed slowly, dragging her limbs along, and walks over. She looks over Jungie’s shoulder, her friend’s brown hair slightly blocking her view, only to see she’s been messaging Jinsol, her best friend — other than Jiwoo, at least.

“I’m ready to talk,” Jiwoo says from behind her, and Jungeun turns around, closing her laptop in a hurry. Her face is red.

“How long have you been looking?”

“Only long enough to see who you were messaging. I can’t believe I’m going to be replaced by Jinsol soon,” Jiwoo says, dramatically putting her hand to her forehead in distress.

“Oh, shut up. I was just asking her to help me take notes for the class you’re making me miss. Besides, I only met her a month ago, and I’ve known you forever, and you know I could never replace you, even if you did make me a little concerned.” Jungeun gestures to Jiwoo’s bed for her to sit down, so she does. She looks Jungie in the eye, waiting for her to say something. 

“Jiwoo, you know you could’ve just told me if you wanted to cut your hair, you know I would’ve helped you.”

“I know. But you’re always doing so much and you had morning classes and I didn’t want to burden you or anything, plus I cut it at 4 a.m. and—“

“You cut it at _4 a.m._ Jiwoo? You could’ve gotten the R.A. called on you, or something could’ve happened to you—“

“It’s the girl’s dorm, and the one person who did run into me didn’t even call the R.A., so it’s completely fine. And my haircut turned out cute!”

“Someone ran into you? Jiwoo, something could’ve happened.”

“It’s okay! She was super nice! Her name is Ha Sooyoung and she’s really pretty and she helped me even out my hair and I got her number to repay her by taking her out for coffee!”

“Jiwoo, you’re too nice for your own good. You don’t know anything about her.”

“I know.”

“But, again, you should’ve told me. I’m your best friend and we live in the same dorm room together. If I had woken up and not seen you in your bed, I could’ve freaked out. I would’ve supported your decision, you know. I do support your decision.”

“I know you do, and I love you so much for supporting me.”

“I’m glad you know, and I love you too,” Jungeun says. Her face turns from a serious expression to her usual big smile. “Now that the whole serious friend talk is over, guess what?”

“What?” Jiwoo says, perking up a little.

“Guess who finally asked me out on a date?”

“What? Jungeun, no way!” Jiwoo’s jaw drops, and she puts her hand up to her mouth.

“Yeah, Jinsol asked me out!”

Jiwoo reaches out and grabs her best friend’s hands and they quickly wave them back and forth excitedly. Jiwoo beams like she always does, especially when she’s around her best friend, and they talk about how Jinsol asked her out.

“Speaking of being asked out, what about the girl you _totally_ didn’t ask out on a coffee date? And you have to tell me more details about this girl, come on.”

“Okay. So, her name is Ha Sooyoung, as I said before, and we ran into each other in the bathroom. She just kind of walked in as I was about to cut some hair and we had an awkward conversation for a bit before she used the bathroom, but she was sweet! She offered to help me trim it so it was even in the back and in general because she cuts her own hair short. Did I mention she has short hair? Because she has short hair and she was slightly taller than me and her outfit was so cool and—“

“You’re gushing a lot for a person you met once and who you have yet to meet again,” Jungie says, raising her eyebrows.

“I gush a lot about everyone I meet, excuse me! I’m an attentive and nice person, unlike some people.”

“Excuse _me_ , I’m very attentive and nice! You’re just Jiwoo, I’m allowed to tease you.”

Jiwoo’s phone vibrates right at that moment, and she picks up her phone and opens her peach-shaped Pop Socket to stick her fingers under. It’s a text from Sooyoung, and when she gets it, she smiles at her screen.

_Hey, this is Sooyoung from the other night. Well, last night/this morning. The girl who cut your hair and you wanted to take her out for coffee to repay her._

_Anyway, if you’re available today, we can get coffee at the shop near the performing arts building around 12? I don’t have any other classes until 3 p.m., so my schedule is flexible._

Jiwoo quickly replies that she’ll see her there, and then locks her phone, only to find Jungeun staring at her.

“Was that her? Did she save a contact photo? Let me see if she did!” Jungeun lunges for Jiwoo’s phone and opens it before Jiwoo can even get a word out. 

“She did!”

“Wait, she did?” Jiwoo grabs her phone back from Jungeun, only to be met with a photo of Sooyoung from that night, smiling softly. Jiwoo notes to herself that the penguins are back in her stomach, but she can’t be bothered to care when she’s looking at Sooyoung. 

“Wow, Jiwoo, you told me she was pretty, but you didn’t say she was cute too!” Jungeun says.

“I was a bit too busy being sapphic to be even more sapphic, okay? Besides, don’t you have Jinsol to be thinking about?”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes. I know beauty when I see it, and she’s beautiful. Jinsol is the prettiest, though.”

“You only have eyes for her, I know, Jungie.” Jiwoo supposes that’s a good thing that Jungeun only has eyes for Jinsol because she would be concerned where Jungeun’s other eyes were and why she hasn’t told her about them before.

In all seriousness, Jiwoo knew this wasn’t a date. She was just taking Sooyoung out to coffee to pay her back for helping her with her hair in the middle of the night — or was it morning? It wasn’t a date, and Jiwoo was okay with that. Sure, Sooyoung may be pretty and kind, but Jiwoo doesn’t know much about her. She doesn’t know how old she is, or when she entered college, or even what she wants to major in. Jiwoo wants to hesitate on this, wants to hesitate on Sooyoung, but she doesn’t have the heart to cancel their meetup after just saying yes, nor does she have the time, because she has a class that starts at 10 and it’s 9 a.m., and Jiwoo hasn’t even really gotten ready yet, let alone packed her bag.

She wants to look nice for when she goes to the coffee shop, and if she wants to do that, she needs to hurry. The classroom is twenty minutes away from her dorm room, and she’s going to need help if she wants to look nice. So, she asks Jungeun to look for an outfit for her while Jiwoo curls her short hair to make it wavy.

She barely makes it on time to her class, making sure to take her usual seat next to Chaewon, and tries to focus on the class, instead of the penguins in her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this chapter! i didn't know whether to start with kim lip and her in the dorm room or to just skip to the not-date, but i decided that their friendship needed to be explored. i hope you think my characterization is okay. feel free to comment or leave suggestions for future chapters, since i don't really have a plan!
> 
> also, in general loona news, i'm so excited for a comeback! this might sound surprising but this will be my first comeback as an orbit! i was more of a casual loona fan during "so what" and caught some of the performances while i was watching music shows for moonbyul's "eclipse" promotions, but i really really got into them later, and so i'm really happy to have my first comeback with loona as an orbit! it's so exciting to see lippie is back to blonde, and i'm excited to see how everyone else's hair has changed as well. i saw a fansite photo that shows that chuu might have blonde or ash-blonde hair, so i'm super super excited to see! anyway, i'm excited for the comeback, and if you wanna talk about it in the comments, let's talk about it!


	3. Jiwoo Remembers Her First Kiss With A Girl

Jiwoo pays good attention in class, and pays even more attention when Chaewon silently puts her notebook in the middle so Jiwoo can get notes she missed from her. Jiwoo’s really good at taking notes, but when she’s distracted thinking about cute girls, her brain turns to mush. And Sooyoung was a cute girl that she was meeting in about...forty minutes. Jiwoo really needs to stop looking at her phone to check the time, but she can’t help it. She’s nervous.

“You seem nervous, are you okay?” a small voice says next to her. 

Jiwoo’s heart jumps. She turns to Chaewon. “Yeah, I’m okay! Don’t worry!”

“Is it about your hair? I think it looks really cute!”

“It’s not, but thank you! Actually, I cut it last night with a bit of help.”

“Oh?”

“I was cutting it in the bathroom and I ran into a cute girl and she helped me cut it. I’m meeting up with her after this class.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re dressed all pretty. Where are you meeting her?”

“ViViD Coffee.”

“I see. I hope you have fun!”

Chaewon turns back to class, so Jiwoo also has to turn back to the front and pay attention. She’s lucky she didn’t get noticed by her professor. The blonde white lady kind of scared her. Honestly, Jiwoo can’t even remember her name. She’s usually really good at remembering names, so the fact that she can’t remember this teacher’s name was a bold statement.

The class seemed to stretch forever before, but with Chaewon’s help and side comments, Jiwoo ended up surprised when the class had ended. She hadn’t even packed up her stuff, and she needed to rush to ViViD, which was on the other side of campus. 

“Good luck with your date, Jiwoo!” Chaewon said, slipping out of the lecture hall as fast as possible.

“It’s not a... date.” It was too late, Chaewon was already out of the door. And Jiwoo needed to be out of that door too. So, she shoved her stuff into her bag, zipped it up, and started running. Jiwoo had around ten minutes until she needed to meet Sooyoung, and ViViD was almost fifteen minutes away. Thankly, Jiwoo is not only gay, but has strong enough legs to make it there in seven.

So she does, and doesn’t see Sooyoung anywhere outside, and breathes a sigh of relief. If Sooyoung had seen her like this, sweaty and disheveled from running, then it would be a terrible first impression! How else was she supposed to pay for— 

Wait. Did she remember her wallet? Jiwoo swings her backpack around to her front, and starts rummaging through it, desperately looking for her wallet. Luckily, she finds it in the front pocket, with a sticky note on the front. 

_ You’re lucky I put this into your bag! Have fun. — Your Favorite Lippie Girl _

Kim Jiwoo had been thankful for Jungeun for many, many times in her life, but this was one of the times she was the most thankful. Well, she was thankful for everything except for how she signed the note. They only kissed  _ one time _ in high school so Jiwoo could tell if she likes girls or not. Only once. Despite the fact that Jungie wanted to remind her of the time they awkwardly kissed right before she was seeing a cute girl, Jiwoo put her wallet into her pocket, and checked the time. Sooyoung was supposed to be here by now, but Jiwoo didn’t see her anywhere.

It was probably a blessing, because it meant that she could make sure that she looked okay. She looked at one of the windows and used it as a mirror, fixing her bangs and making sure her white shirt was tucked in correctly, and the rips in her pants weren’t hurting her legs. Once she’s decently happy that she looks okay, she takes back out her phone and takes a few selfies to send to Jungeun. Then she checks the time, and... Sooyoung still isn’t here.

Maybe she should go inside and get them a spot? She didn’t know what Sooyoung liked to drink, so she didn’t want to order for them yet, but they could get a little booth. So, Jiwoo slips inside, and tries to find a table and—

“Hey, Jiwoo. I’m over here.”

Jiwoo turns around, and finds Sooyoung, sitting in a booth, facing the window she was looking at herself in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i'm so sorry it's been so long since the last update, i got so busy with school and then i was taking so long with this chapter i couldn't figure out where to stop, so i just split it into two, and i don't know where i really want this fic to go.  
> and the comeback was amazing, i got all four albums! i loved yves' red hair and chuu's strawberry blonde hair (though i love her black to blonde ombre more).  
> uh, i also made a twitter account! it's the same username as on here, i don't post that often but i do sometimes post! so follow me @burgundymoons


	4. Jiwoo (Apparently) Threatens Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! this update is quite a bit longer than my previous ones... it's actually almost as long as all of my previous ones combined! this chapter took a while, so i really hope you enjoy it.

“Sooyoung, I’m so sorry! I was waiting for you outside!” Jiwoo says, running over to the table. 

“I know. I saw you looking at yourself in the window. It was cute, and I didn’t want to scare you or interrupt you,” Sooyoung says, looking up at Jiwoo from the table.

“Oh.” It’s all Jiwoo can say, because her mind has stopped. Sooyoung thought she was cute. That’s cool and not a flustering statement at all.

“But, you look cute! Sorry you had to run here by the way, I didn’t know it was so far from you.”

“Oh, it was no problem! You look cute too!” Jiwoo wasn’t lying. Sooyoung looked completely different from last night. Last night, she was wearing a leather jacket and a green ribbed top, and today? She was wearing a light pink T-shirt with simple light wash jeans. It was a complete image flip: from the cool girl who you could never get the courage to talk to in high school to the girl that everyone fell in love with. Yeah, Jiwoo had a lot of crushes in high school, what about it?

“Thank you!” Sooyoung says, popping Jiwoo’s thought bubble. “This outfit actually has a name.”

“Really?” A smirk creeps onto Jiwoo’s face. “What is it?”

“‘The senior class member that was your first love.’” Sooyoung poses, her face in her hands, and Jiwoo thinks she’s right. She smiles like someone you fall in love with at first sight, like the person you’ll never get over.

“It’s very fitting,” she confesses. “I don’t have a name for my outfit, my friend actually helped pick it out for me. I didn’t have much time this morning.”

“I can name it for you! How about... ‘freshman on the way to her humanities class?’”

Was... Sooyoung flirting with her? And saying that she’s the freshman that falls in love with the senior? It was probably just a cute joke, there was no way Sooyoung was flirting with her. But, Jiwoo likes to be brave, and likes to be a little bit selfish, so she’ll hold that thought in her heart.

“Wow, Sooyoung, I can’t believe you read me like a book!” Jiwoo decides to play along. “Well then, dear upperclassman, may I treat you to some wonderful coffee and pastries to thank you for being so helpful?”

“Why of course!” Sooyoung says, leaving her bag in the booth to get in line to order. Jiwoo puts her backpack down too, grabs her wallet, and joins Sooyoung in line.

“So, dear upperclassman, if your current outfit has a name, does your outfit from last night have a name as well?”

“It does! It’s called ‘all my life.’ No capital letters, it’s a very important detail.”

“Why?”

“It was the outfit I wore the most when I was discovering myself.”

“Did you end up discovering anything good?”

“Well, I discovered I liked girls all my life, so I would say yes.”

Good to know. Sooyoung likes girls. Jiwoo is totally fine right now and not thinking about how Sooyoung was totally not flirting with her earlier. If she thought about it much longer, her face would turn red.

“What are you thinking about getting?” Jiwoo says, looking up at the menu. She hopes that Sooyoung buys into the subject change without questioning it.

“Maybe a macchiato? I’m not really sure...”

“Well, don’t worry about the price! I’ve got you covered, so go big or go home!” Jiwoo hopes Sooyoung doesn’t go too big though, because her wallet can’t handle too much.

“Says the short one,” Sooyoung snickers.

“Hey, we’re basically the same height! Watch me wear heels next time I see you and tower over you and we’ll see who the short one is then.”

“So you admit that you’re the short one?”

“Sooyoung!” Jiwoo says. She tries to change the topic. “We’re almost to the front of the line, think about your order.”

“Well, what are you getting?” Sooyoung shoots back.

“Hot chocolate, a chocolate croissant, and two slices of strawberry shortcake.”

“That’s a lot of food.”

“I’m bringing one of the slices back to my dorm for my roommate! She deserves it.” It was a long day for Jungie, especially since she had to deal with her, and she deserved a treat.

“Well, I think I’m going to settle for that macchiato, and I’ll get a shot of espresso and an apple danish! How does that sound?”

“Sounds long, so you tell the barista what you want.” Jiwoo was not risking accidentally messing up her order.

Sooyoung’s tone changes the second she walks up to the barista. Her voice goes up a few pitches, and she’s less teasing, more polite. More like what she was like when Jiwoo met her in the bathroom last night. Jiwoo likes her voice when she’s not nervous better. But, Sooyoung finishes talking quickly, and then it’s Jiwoo’s turn. 

“Hi, I’d like to get one hot chocolate, one chocolate croissant, and one slice of strawberry cheesecake for here. And I’d also like to get another slice in a to-go box, please.”

The barista rings them up, and Jiwoo swipes her card to pay. She refuses to look at the price, because she’d rather be shocked about running out of money in her dorm than with Sooyoung. They grab their number and wait at the table for their stuff to arrive. It’s silent. Jiwoo doesn’t know why, but it’s awkward again. They’re just sitting there, waiting. Waiting for their drinks and for the other to say something. Jiwoo’s tempted to pull out her phone, text Jungeun to rescue her or tell her how it’s going, but she can’t. Sooyoung was trying so hard to not make things awkward earlier, with all her compliments and teasing, but she looks nervous now. And Jiwoo doesn’t want to make her nervous, so she repays the favor.

“We probably jumped the gun a little earlier. We only met in the bathroom yesterday for the first time, and we were joking around like best friends. Not that I mind, it was really nice! But, I should actually introduce myself. I’m Kim Jiwoo, currently a freshman! I’m undecided about my major, but I want to switch to the music department! What about you?”

Sooyoung doesn’t answer for a few seconds, and Jiwoo feels her heart drop.

“Well,” she continues, trying not to make this conversation fail. “You said you were coming from the Performing Arts building in your text, right? Are you a theater kid? Or maybe you’re a  _ musical _ kid?” Jiwoo could handle choir kids, after all, she had been one. Spontaneous singing at the mention of a familiar phrase was something she could handle, but musical kids were something else.

“What? No way!” Sooyoung says. Jiwoo's glad the accusation worked. “Me? A  _ musical _ kid? I’m majoring in  _ dance _ . I wanted to double major actually, so I could major in music, but they wouldn’t let me. So, I chose dance first. I’ve got one more year before I can re-enroll.”

“That’s so cool! I know a few choreographies, but I focus more on singing.” It’s true. Jiwoo remembers staying up late with Jungeun, trying to learn the choreography to their favorite songs in high school. Jiwoo got it with hard work, but she had always just enjoyed singing and songwriting more.

“That’s okay! Do whatever makes you happy!” Sooyoung says, and Jiwoo is happy to be supported.

The things arrive at their table, from a different employee than the barista. She’s staring at the croissant and danish like she’s trying to eat it with her eyes, but she eventually walks away to serve someone else. Jiwoo looks at her hot chocolate, and sees that she’s got art of a bunny on top. She looks over to Sooyoung’s macchiato, and sees that she’s got art of a cat. It’s the cutest thing Jiwoo has ever seen.

“Can I take a photo of our food?” Jiwoo says, holding up her phone.

“Go ahead! What’s it for?”

“Instagram! I have a surprisingly big following on there,” Jiwoo says as she arranges all the food and drinks on the wooden table.

“Oh? Considering how cute you are, it’s not that surprising,” Sooyoung says casually. She’s talking about it like her being cute is just a fact, and while Jiwoo knows it’s true, she didn’t expect this. And yet, Sooyoung continues like she didn’t just cause Jiwoo to blush. “But, tell me your handle! I want to follow you.”

“Ah! Give me a moment, and I’ll type it in for you!” Jiwoo finishes taking her photos, and then puts out her hand for Sooyoung’s phone. She puts it in her hand, and Jiwoo types her handle into the search bar, and clicks on her profile.

“That’s me!” she says, handing the phone back to Sooyoung.

“‘StrawberryJiwoo?’ That’s your handle?”

“Yeah! My name is Jiwoo and I love strawberries. That’s why I got the shortcake!”

“I think ‘JiwooShortcake’ would be a better handle then, since you’re so short.”

“Hey!”

“There, I followed you,” Sooyoung says, putting down her phone.

Jiwoo opens Instagram and sees the notification.

“I’m not taking criticism from ‘Swan_youngie,’” Jiwoo says, looking at Sooyoung’s Instagram and following her.

Sooyoung gasps dramatically. “How dare you insult the art of the pun?’

“You’re the one calling yourself a swan.”

“Says the penguin.”

“What about me screams ‘penguin’ to you?” Sure, Jiwoo loved penguins and found them cute, but calling herself a penguin wasn’t even close.

“You waddle. It’s cute.”

“I do not waddle!”

“Yes, you do.”

“I do not! I’m texting my friend; she’ll defend me.”

“Or she’ll prove me right,” Sooyoung says, taking a sip of her drink.

Jiwoo’s phone buzzes right away.

> _ You do waddle like a penguin sometimes, sorry Jiwooming. _

“This is the worst news in my life,” Jiwoo says. Maybe she shouldn’t take this cake back to Jungie.

“Does she actually agree with me? Wait, I didn’t actually expect this.”

“Shut up and eat.”

“Oh no, I can’t believe my kind underclassman is threatening me!” Sooyoung says sarcastically and gets to eating her apple danish.

Jiwoo bites into her strawberry shortcake, and she doesn’t regret getting this cake at all. She wishes she could make it herself, but she doesn’t exactly have a kitchen in her dorm room to bake a cake. She eats her cake fast, leaving not even a crumb on the plate, and then sips at her drink slowly.

Jiwoo hasn’t really thought about it that much today, but her short hair really has felt lighter. Sure, it can be slightly inconvenient, like how it keeps falling into her face when she leans forward and she didn’t want to ruin her hair by tying it back, but she’s felt a lot better since she cut it. And, it’s too soon to tell, but maybe it’s what she really needed to feel independent. She starts making a list of things she wants to do later. Jiwoo wants to get an apartment or just a place where she can live with Jungeun. She wants to buy recording equipment so she can record songs more professionally than she does with just the microphone on her earbuds. She wants to learn more about composition so her songs can be more interesting and advanced. She wants— 

“So, what did your hair look like before you cut it?”

Sooyoung. Jiwoo wasn’t really paying attention, so she didn’t even notice that Sooyoung had finished her danish.

“Oh, I can show you some photos if you’d like,” Jiwoo says, holding up her phone. Sooyoung nods, so Jiwoo unlocks her phone and pulls up some photos.

“This is me and Jungeun from the other day! You can’t see my hair well though.” It’s a [photo](https://twitter.com/MnetMcountdown/status/1227843197637840897?s=20) where Jiwoo is squishing her cheeks, and Jungeun has her light-brown hair up in a ponytail. Jiwoo’s hair is behind her shoulders. Jiwoo tries to find a better photo.

“You can’t see my hair that well in this one either... but that’s Jungie again!” It’s a [photo](https://twitter.com/loonatheworld/status/1197741607988056065?s=20) where Jiwoo is wearing a big puffy jacket with her hair tucked into it, and Jungie is wearing a light pink knitted sweater with her hair down. Jiwoo swore she had more photos of just herself, but right now, all she’s finding are ones with Jungeun.

“Aww, you’re making a kissy face,” Sooyoung comments.

“Ah, well. It’s one of my signature poses... I do it on instinct sometimes.”

“I totally understand that. I started winking at my friends to practice winking and because it was funny to watch them get flustered, but now I just keep winking at people.”

“Actually, there might be a photo where I’m winking  _ and _ doing a kissy-face...”

“Jiwoo, you are the pinnacle of human evolution.”

“Oh! I found a [photo](https://twitter.com/burgundymoons/status/1310787138057723905?s=20) from high school! That’s when I had red hair... Jungeun and I bleached our hair together, and she dyed mine! We got in so much trouble, but it was worth it.”

“You have a lot of pictures with this Jungeun. Are you dating?”

If Jiwoo had hot chocolate in her mouth, she would’ve spit it out. “No no no! We’ve just been best friends since high school! I just talk about her a lot, since we’ve been friends for like... a long time.” It wasn’t the first time Jiwoo had been asked this either.

Jiwoo didn’t want to remember the time her mom told her that her aunt asked if she was dating Lippie because she wouldn’t stop talking about things she did with her. So what if Jiwoo thought she might’ve had a crush on her at some point? She was wrong about it anyway!

“I found a good [photo](https://twitter.com/loonatheworld/status/1233635676907663360?s=20)! Here!” Jiwoo tilts the phone to Sooyoung proudly. “This is from when I had the underside of my hair bleached! It was actually dyed red, but it faded out really quickly. I was going to a party with my friend, so we more matching outfits. That’s why the outfits a little weird.”

“Ooo! You look adorable!”

“Thank you!” Jiwoo says, locking her phone.

And they just talk. Jiwoo just talks to Sooyoung like they didn’t just meet, like there wasn’t this weird intimate moment last night, like they were just... normal friends. And Jiwoo likes this. She likes talking to someone about singing and about songwriting, likes talking to someone who listens to different types of music, likes talking to someone who isn’t majoring in the same stuff as her.

Jiwoo finds herself entranced almost. Sooyoung felt like she was in another world, but she was right by Jiwoo’s side. Maybe this encounter was meant to be, or maybe it was just a coincidence, but Jiwoo knows she doesn’t regret it one bit. Not when she gets to talk to Sooyoung, who talks about how her family has supported her dreams ever since she knew what they were. Who talks about how dancing makes her feel like she’s flying closer to her dreams and to who she wants to be.

And Jiwoo, despite cutting her hair, is still on the ground. It’s one step towards freedom, but what does freedom take?

“Oh, shoot. It’s almost 2:45 and my class is on the other side of campus,” Sooyoung says, standing up. They had really spent almost three hours in a coffee shop just... talking. Jiwoo’s not even sure if that cake she got for Jungie is food safe anymore.

“Oh!” Jiwoo stands up to pack up her stuff. “Thank you for hanging out with me, and for cutting my hair.” In all of this conversation, she had forgotten that's what the meeting was about: paying Sooyoung back for cutting her hair.

“No, thank you,” Sooyoung says as they walk out the door together. “I’m glad the hair turned out well. I’ve only really cut my own twice, so it could’ve been disastrous.”

Jiwoo giggles. “Good thing it wasn’t, because then I wouldn’t have tried to pay you back!”

Sooyoung glances to her right. “My class is this way, if you don’t have anything to do, would you like to walk with me?”

Jiwoo looks in that direction. Her dorm is that way too, so it’s not out of the way. “Of course!” 

They start walking, and they let the silence fill the air. But this time, it doesn’t seem bad. It’s nice, like a breeze autumn rustling up the leaves. Jiwoo likes this silence, this non-awkward silence.

“Do you live on campus?” Sooyoung asks.

“I do. I’m in the dorm where you saw me in the bathroom. I room with Jungie. Do you not live there?”

“Ah, I live off-campus with a few friends. We’re mainly an artsy kind of house, so we work well together.”

“What are your friends like?”

“Well, Haseul is really kind. She takes care of us, despite actually being the youngest in the household. She brings our spirits up when we’re down, and she’s just... genuine. She’s trying to be an opera singer, so she’s taking vocal training for that in her free time when she’s not working at her part-time job.”

“She sounds nice.” Jiwoo means it. Haseul sounds like a light breath of fresh air, like green leaves on a spring day.

“My other friend, Jinsol—”

“Wait. Jung Jinsol? As in Gundam builder Jinsol? The Jinsol that hit her head on a table while trying to impress a girl? That Jinsol?”

“Wait, do you  _ know _ her?”

“I haven’t met her, but Jungeun is Jinsol’s best friend, and Jinsol asked her out this morning.”

“ _ That’s _ why she was smiling like a dork this morning; I can’t believe this. She didn’t tell me! I’m so texting Haseul, we’re gonna tease her about this when we all get home.”

“I can’t believe we could’ve met before,” Jiwoo says.

“Well, I guess we have to blame our friends for that one.”

“Wait, you said your house is artsy? What’s artsy about Jinsol?” Jiwoo hadn’t heard anything from Jungie about this.

“Oh, Jinsol may be an engineering major, but she knows music theory and composes on the side.”

“... And Jungeun never told  _ me _ , her  _ composing _ best friend?! I can’t believe her.”

Sooyoung laughs at that, and Jiwoo thinks it’s the prettiest laugh she’s ever heard.

“Pft, you’re so cute.”

“Stop it!” Jiwoo lightly taps Sooyoung’s shoulder with her fist, and Sooyoung turns to her in shock, clutching her arm.

“Violence? Again! I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed!”

“I only tapped you!”

Jiwoo only now notices that they’ve stopped in front of a door and that they’ve been here for a few minutes.

“Is this your class?”

“Yeah. I was just having fun, and it’s not past time yet so...”

“Oh. Well, don’t let me be a distraction from your class! You’ll do great!” Jiwoo pumps her fist into the air. 

Sooyoung smiles at her. “I’ll do great.”

Jiwoo thinks that smile could make her melt, and she’d rather not melt in front of Sooyoung.

“Well, thank you again for today! I’m gonna head back to my dorm. Bye!” Jiwoo waves to Sooyoung and starts to leave.

“Wait!” Jiwoo turns around to see Sooyoung standing there. “Uh, would you want to hang out again sometime? You’re really cool to talk to, and I had fun today. And if you didn’t want to hang out with just me, we could have a hangout with friends. And if you did want to hang out with just me, I could... show you how to dance? Or how I dance?” Or—”

“Yes. To both of those things. I’d love to, Sooyoung.” 

Sooyoung beams at Jiwoo at those words, and Jiwoo needs to get back to her room  _ soon _ because she’s way too sapphic for this and she just wants to scream about how beautiful Sooyoung is.

“Cool! I’ll text you then! See you later, Jiwoo!” Sooyoung opens the door to her class and walks on in. 

Jiwoo walks back to her dorm, closes the door behind her, and screams into her pillow.

It’s only later, when she uses the bathroom, does she realize something.

If Sooyoung doesn’t live on campus, then what was she doing here so late last night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this chapter! to be honest, when i started it, i didn't know where i wanted it to go, but i was able to figure out what i wanted to happen. i know i went a little heavy on the pining, especially for a second encounter, but i just think of jiwoo as the type to be easily flustered, but hard to fall, but it's the opposite for sooyoung. they're really cute!  
> i had a lot of problems writing this chapter actually. i couldn't source the hi high era photo. and when they were talking about their accounts... when talking about this stuff irl, i tend to just say "what's your @" but it feels weird to write. but if i did "what's your at?" it reads even more weird, so i just ended up going with handle...  
> anyway, if you enjoyed this, you can comment down below or find me at my social media accounts! my twitter is @burgundymoons, and so is my curiouscat! feel free to leave me messages!


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